marriage, hell, and other thoughts...

I sat recently with a group of college students discussing the doctrine of marriage: What is it? Where did it come from? And why does it matter?

Our weekly small group revolves around discussing faith, sexuality, and gender. As has become typical, we spend a fair amount of time discussing basic doctrine. Today was no different.

One of the students posed the question, “So what about this lesbian couple that I’m friends with? They are both Christians. They have a great relationship and love each other. But because they got married, they are going to hell?”

It was an honest question, stemming from the common belief that the sin of “gayness” damns a person to hell. Week after week, I ask them to define what they mean when they use terms like “gay,” “homosexuality,” and the like. I want to parse out these definitions, no matter how much effort it takes, because in their minds, something about these terms is sending people to hell.

So I responded to her question with a question. “What causes a person to go to hell?”

“Sin,” she replied.

I asked another question, “What allows a person entrance to heaven or exit out of hell?”

Another student replied (using a slow voice and emphasizing each syllable to “aid” my understanding), “Jesus.” 

Realizing that I was frustrating them, I continued on with yet another question, “When a person becomes a Christian and asks Jesus to pay the penalty for their sins and accepts Christ’s substitutionary atonement, how many of their sins are forgiven?”

There was a long pause around the table, and someone ventured an answer. “I think all of their sins are forgiven?”

What is your answer to that question? Do you live and think consistently with your answer?

If someone is saved (Christian or believer), then all their sins are wiped clean, they are a part of God’s family, they are sealed by the Holy Spirit, and Jesus is preparing a place for them in heaven. Done deal. (I am not here to debate if someone can lose their salvation. It’s obvious what I think.) 

So why is there the impression that it’s a different standard for LGBTQ people?

As in my recent post, I want to challenge you to think about what you believe as well as what is taught in your church.

Is the sin of gay sex counted to be more sinful than adultery, viewing pornography, lust, no-fault divorce, and the host of other sexual sins in our midst as a culture? I’m all for confronting sin; I just want an even playing field. I want all sin confronted and the church bodies that we are a part of to take purity seriously, as we are the Bride of Christ.

Please don’t hear what I’m not saying. I do believe that the Christian lesbian couple is commiting the sin  of sexual immorality. Sin is still sin. God desires repentance and turning away from that sin, just as He does for the heterosexual man looking at porn or the woman having a physical or emotional affair with her supervisor. Paul is crystal clear when he explains that grace should never give us an excuse to live sinfully.

While I definitely believe that when a person asks Jesus to be their Savior, He forgives all of their sin (past, present, and future). I also believe that only God judges hearts. If I live in unrepentant sin (any sin) and feel no desire to repent and “go God’s way,'' my life begs the question, “Is Jesus actually my Savior?”  The Holy Spirit’s predictable work in all of us drives us to a more God-conformed life in all areas of our choices, our thoughts, our desires. If I don’t see this happening, I should, or hopefully my friends should be asking some hard questions.

That said, let me pose the question to you:

Who is going to hell?

Why are they going to hell?

How is sexual sin confronted in your church? Is it even handled? Or are some people and their sins singled out?

Have you thought through your answers to these questions deeply enough to be able to articulate them?

When we answer these questions inaccurately, or incompletely, we risk not loving well. And that may not keep you up at night- but it should. Scripture clearly says that without love, we have nothing to offer, nothing that will last.

It matters.

If you enjoy the contents of this blog, please consider sharing it. It will take many of us much effort to change the posture and reputation of the church among the LGBTQ community.